Survive or Thrive, Part 2: “I REQUIRE That!”

This is a thing I struggled with for a long time – stuff that I thought I needed, but my life wouldn’t end if I didn’t have. These can be pretty basic things like electricity and showers. Over time, I’ve noticed that these are things that are important for maintaining my ego and my story about myself.

For example, there are certain requirements for maintaining a professional license – a certain number of continuing education hours, for one. Please understand that I worked very hard under some trying conditions in order to get my degree and fulfill the qualifications that allow me to put letters behind my name. It was an accomplishment of which I am proud, and I’m not willing to just let it go (even though I’m not currently working in the accounting field). But I don’t need to keep it in order to survive.

Requirements go something like this: “In order to ________, I must ________.” They are not actual needs, but they are necessary to maintain the status quo. They are often things that are necessary to reach goals. But you can survive physically without them.

Notice I said “physically” survive. If you don’t fulfill your requirements, a part of your ego (identity) will die. Your story will have to change. And this doesn’t just mean the good stuff. We also hold on to our victim stories and our traumas. Not because they serve us, but because they feel like an important part of us.

I have a ring that’s engraved “when I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. Letting go of any part of my identity (even the yucky stuff) feels like death. It’s scary. And it makes room for the things that we want.