Category Archives: Identité

Name it, Claim it, Reframe it

In my last post, I discussed how we repress feelings that we have been told not to feel because they are somehow wrong or make us “bad”. But what do you do with those feelings when it’s not appropriate or is uncomfortable to express them in the moment? In my own work with the feelingsContinue reading “Name it, Claim it, Reframe it”

Those “inappropriate” feelings

“You shouldn’t be so angry (hurt, sad, depressed, crazy, whatever you “shouldn’t feel).” “You’re overreacting.” “It’s not that bad.” It’s quite dehumanizing being told that your feelings are wrong. And it’s a lie. You feel what you feel. There’s nothing wrong with it. Even when it doesn’t really have anything to do with the situationContinue reading “Those “inappropriate” feelings”

Meno Mayhem

Menopause is absolute mayhem. Here are a few products that have worked for me to calm the hot flashes and relieve symptoms: LadyCare Plus magnetic therapy device. I just got this yesterday, and it’s already helping. Small and affordable, it uses a 2000 gauss magnet to help with symptoms without hormones. As a bonus, itContinue reading “Meno Mayhem”

I want to be pretty

It’s strange, the things I remember sometimes. Today, I was thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up. And the only thing I can really remember thinking was that I wanted to be pretty. I also think that that was probably the one answer that I never gave when asked. I guessContinue reading “I want to be pretty”

The problem with memories

I remember it all very clearly: watching the Challenger explosion during school. I can see all the kids gathered together on the library steps at my elementary school to watch the teacher going into space. The excitement of watching the Space Shuttle launching; how quickly the television was turned off when it all went soContinue reading “The problem with memories”

Perfect is boring. Be interesting, instead.

You can be perfect or interesting. True perfection is impossible. Therefore, you MUST be interesting. I am a recovering perfectionist. Observation: perfectionism can lead to paranoia and paralysis. It is beyond humbling to realize that no matter what you do, it will never be perfect. Never enough. Flawed. Wrong. But it is the little imperfectionsContinue reading “Perfect is boring. Be interesting, instead.”

Shame is like a virus

So, feelings. I’m talking about the ones we don’t like – anger, guilt, sadness, fear – those all (as near as I can tell) come pre-installed. They are natural. There is nothing wrong with you if you feel the “negative” feelings. Anger – this comes up when your boundaries are violated Guilt – you haveContinue reading “Shame is like a virus”